1982.  That’s the year i started going to GCF.  From the very first service i attended in November of that year, i already knew i wanted to be part of this vibrant bunch of people who seemed to really “get me” and my new-found faith in Jesus.  But before i could join up, i was surprised to find that i actually had to go through an application process.  This was a stark contrast to the church i used to attend where but a handful of people knew the faces, let alone the names of the attendees.  It was a pleasant surprise, making me feel like this wasn’t just a social club – they were serious about helping whoever came into the congregation to become active members.  i loved it!

Fast forward, okay SUPER fast forward to today.  28 years later, i’m all grown up (a.k.a. gurang) and the depth of my love for our hundreds-strong church (at that time) has been tempered by the realities of messy community in a mega church context.  But one thing has not faltered, i still love this church, this bunch of people i journey with not only towards a greater number of attendees but, most importantly, towards greater Christlikeness.  i won’t lie to you.  It aint easy!  But, it is definitely worth it.

One way i have been learning to pray for my church is to appeal to Jesus as the Good Shepherd, to lead us as a congregation beside still waters (that we may find peace amidst one disconcerting situation after another), to deliver us from all our fears (that we may not dwell in terror of what could happen), to restore our souls (that we may not lose heart), to block the entry of predators (that we may experience His divine rescue), to use His rod and His staff gently as He makes our path straight (that we may heed His leading quickly and with joy), and to prepare a table ahead for us (that we might be assured that it will not always be this hard,

that there is a feast day coming filled with His celebration).

“Good and Gentle Shepherd, i look to You to lead the way.  Here i am.  Baa baa baa.  Help me not to act like a black sheep but to be one who is always eager to be at Your side.  May i know Your voice and hear it more clearly.  Amen.”

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There was a string of days weeks ago when i found myself right smack in the middle of the world of my artist friends.  When i am with them i feel strangely small and yet also oddly held up.  When i think of Rica Bolipata-Santos whose skills as a writer make even her Facebook status updates literary, i feel like less than a dust mite in size.  But when i think on the grace that daily abounds to me in my teeny tiny attempts at writing, i feel like i am sitting on the shoulders of Someone who won’t let me fall.

When i think of Migs Socorro Villanueva whom i took to calling Renaissance Woman years ago, when i take time to think on the breadth of her skills as an artist in writing and painting (and even in singing) it gives me that grasshopper feeling all over again.  But when i think about the many ways that the Lord has graciously allowed me to dabble in the different worlds Migs’ occupies, i find gratitude swelling up in my heart.  i call myself artist-by-osmosis, their genius rubs off on me.  And i’d like to think, i often pray, that a bit of me rubs off on them too?  i realize how hard it can be to penetrate this world of the artists.  It is a small but rather dedicated bunch of people who, by virtue of what they do, shape culture, influence opinion and plant seeds.  i want to be able to keep entering that world in my own small way with what i do and, most importantly, who i am – my friendship with them, my prayers for them and even my snippets of conversation with them.  i am hoping all those things help to build up to something good, something that results in a movement towards the Great Artist who has created so many masterpieces in these people.

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“Physician, heal thyself” is easier said than done, isn’t it?  In the vast selection of professions and vocations, doctors don’t have much of a chance to speak of their owns needs and wounds and hurts and pains.  So, when i was asked by pediatric neurologist and friend Dr. Joe Robles and his wife and my friend Ate Noemi Robles  to help them conduct a retreat for 58 of their residents and fellows, the only answer on my lips was “Yes!”

i did not regret that reply.  August 24 began early and (knowing how much of a morning person i am not) i was pleasantly surprised to find myself happy to see the sun rise over the mountains and hills of Antipolo, Cogeo and Tanay, Rizal.  As the SUV weaved it’s way across the road to Pranjetto Hills, my eyes looked out the window and saw what looked like giant chunks of broccoli and vast green carpets that Metro Manila has lost to progress.  i wanted to roll down what separated me from all those oxygen-giving organisms and breathe deeply, especially after what had transpired the night before at Luneta.

Upon arriving at Pranjetto, my heart leaped with excitement at how the Lord would meet the doctors in this very “conducive” place.  i saw the chairs and spots all over the place and was happy that it all lent itself so easily to Conversations with God.  It was surely going to be a good day.

And so it was, bit by bit, as the doctors arrived and sat in on my talk about Listening Prayer they began to, so to speak, take off their doctor’s gowns and armor of strength.  They began to allow themselves to be, at least for the next two days, “needy” before their Father.  My one encouragement to them was for them to “Be Selfish,” to admit to the Lord and to themselves that although they dispense healing to others, they themselves often need healing too – from the wounds of bearing burdens of such young patients who pass away while under their care, from the enormous physical burden of residency itself.  After what seemed to me like initial hesitation on their part, their shoulders began to relax and smiles began to come over their faces – that and the gift of sleep, which i strongly encouraged them to give in to if that was really what they needed.

Rest, we all need it.  And i suspect doctors need it most.  They are gifted with the vocation of ministering healing to others.  How grateful i was for a chance to minister healing to them myself, even for a day – to invite them to rest in the arms of the Great Physician who can minister to wounds deeper than their physical anatomy, all the way to their very souls.

And so i came to the end of that day looking out a window only to see this whiff of a rainbow.  “How apt Lord, that You should hold out the reminder of promise
for these medical ministers who need that hope.”

i am aware and am very thankful that i have this privilege of helping the helpers.  So, thank you to all who make it possible for me to do what God has called me to do.  Bless you all even more!

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“Would you pray for me?”  i get asked that a lot and i do so love praying for people.  But you know what i love most about praying for others?  It is the chance to talk to the Father, to connect with Jesus and to fellowship with the Spirit – in essence, to listen to how the Lord wants me to pray for someone, rather than me jumping right in with my ideas of what i ought to pray for.

It’s been quite an adventure but i have been loving this spiritual practice of listening to the Lord in prayer.  i wasn’t always this way.  i’d always believed that Bible reading is when God talks to us and prayer is when WE talk to Him.  But as the years have passed, and as i got introduced to the discipline of listening prayer through the ministry of Living Waters, i’ve come to appreciate the reality that prayer really is talking WITH God not AT Him.

And so, to my utter amazement, i’ve been asked several times now to teach or speak on this subject of Listening Prayer.  Honestly, i truly balk at that thought that people would think i have anything at all to say on the subject.  But i have surrendered to the happy opportunity to share with others from out of my own adventures (and quite a number of misadventures) in Listening Prayer.  My next two chances to speak on this topic are: August 16, Monday, for the GCF Eureka Growth Group in Makati and September 18 for GCF’s Growth Group Leaders Training Conference.  Oh how i NEED YOUR PRAYERS for me to be able to teach and speak well to each of these groups.

i do not for one second believe that such an enterprise can be undertaken apart from the grace and anointing of God.  So, would you pray for me – that i might be filled with the Spirit and help people truly engage with the Lord at the heart and spirit level and not only at the surface?  For that to happen, i need to walk closely with the Lord and be prepared to speak in a way that is specific to each group.  So, your prayers will definitely help my friend.  Thanks!

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